no sitting down on the job

I’ve read comic books for a long time. Probably 99.99999999999% of my life. I love them. From super heroes to crime noir, comic books are the bestest!

I like to think I know a few things about comics. I may have trouble remembering everything, but I know a good amount. Especially things that are “common knowledge.”

Like, Superman comes from Krypton. Spider-Man was bitten by a radioactive spider. Wolverine is the best there is at what he does. You know, random stuff like that.

Now, I love super hero comics. I really do. But I understand that they are from big companies and the editors have more say than the writers most of the time. Which is too bad. That would NEVER stop me from reading them, though!

One writer dealt with all the rewriting that he had to do and a scene where Batman sits next to somebody on the roof had to be changed last minute. He asked why and the editor said that Batman never sits down. Common knowledge!

WHAT?! How is that common knowledge?! He HAS to sit sometimes! He drives a car! And a plane! And a submersible!

I understand that Batman is generally jumping around beating up evil and stuff. He can still sit if he needs to! Everybody loves a good sit!

Luckily, the internet has responded by making a tumblr page with pictures of Batman sitting down.

So, please, don’t be afraid to have Batman sit. He can do more sitting down than I could do in…probably any position. And please, editors, I understand that shareholders are important, but I’m also pretty sure they’ll be fine if Batman rests his legs for a minute.

Or not. I don’t really know what happens in shareholder meetings. Maybe they all stand around and fight crime. When I say “stand,” I mean “sit.” When I say “fight crime,” I mean “make tons of money.”

I know this was a little too “comic booky” for the average person to care about. But sometimes I just need to rant a little. Publicly. For all the shareholders to see. Because shareholders are some of my biggest fans.

I’m off to sit down for a minute and hold a good share.

Enjoy Everything.

-lopez

mutant mosquito mayhem

This is kinda funny to me. It might not be as funny to you. But it really should be.

Let me start with the real story. Mosquitoes mutate in, like, an hour. They did a study with DEET to find out how effective it really is at keeping mosquitoes away.

Some guy put DEET on his arm and stuck it into a box of mosquitoes. They didn’t like it.

A few hours later, they did it again to the same mosquitoes. Guess what?! They mutated! Their antennae changed so they didn’t care about DEET any more and started eating the guy!

If they can mutate that quickly, they have the (unscientifically proven) ability to mutate into giant monsters that will eat all our blood and chocolate!

We do NOT want that!

You should be scared. But not too scared. The guy who did the study is Dr. James Logan.

Get it? I’ll wait…Still no? I’ll give you a hint WOLVERINE!

That’s right! Wolverine is back! James Logan is Wolverine! Well…the Wolverine of the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine.

Which is still pretty tough. I mean…bad hygiene is almost like a super villain.

So yeah…Wolverine is studying mutant mosquitoes. Sorry…Dr. Wolverine.

Wouldn’t it be awful if fruit flies were like mosquitoes? Like, they suck the flesh out of a fruit? You open a banana, and it’s empty inside! NO BANANA!

That’s probably my worst nightmare ever.

I’m off to pretend I’m Wolverine. Again.

Enjoy Everything.

-lopez

don’t eat sharks

There was a story out about the Velvet Belly Lantern Shark. Even though it is the most romantically named shark, it’s probably not one you want to cuddle with.

Okay, you probably don’t ever want to cuddle with sharks. If you ARE a shark-cuddler, watch out for this one!

The story was talking about their bioluminescence. They wanted to find out why they glow on the top AND on the bottom. The bottom is probably to look like light hitting the water so predators from below don’t know that there’s a shark above them.

The lights on top are part of spikes! YES! SPIKES! They have these little spiny things poking out of them that glow!

Let me tell you how scary this is: Imagine Wolverine. He has claws that come out of his hands. Now imagine it is night and Wolverine is coming after you. Normally, you wouldn’t see that coming, so you can’t panic until it’s too late.

NOW, imagine that his claws glow! All you see coming at you are glowing claws and you have to just watch as your demise approaches. Like a death-rave. SNIKT!

That is what these sharks are saying! “You want my velvety belly? Come and get it! But see how good it feels to swallow my glowing thorns, fool!”

Life lesson: Swallowing thorns is not pleasant. At any point in the process.

Life wish: I really wish humans had bioluminescence. I would like to glow. From my claws!

SNIKT!

I’m off to pretend I’m Wolverine.

Enjoy Everything.

-lopez

in the mood for food that’s good

Make sure you say “good” like “food” and “mood.” It’s funner that way.

I sometimes think that I should start my own food blog. Not that anyone reads my non-food blog. And not that anyone likes any of the food choices I make. But, I do often write about my adventures in fooding because every new food experience is an adventure!

Sometimes it ends with a new favorite food. Other times…well…my tummy doesn’t like me so much and questions my decisions.

I DID try some new things recently that I encourage you all to do. Today. And again tomorrow.

Apples and hummus! Not just ANY hummus. SUPER HUMMUS! I found this stuff the other day because I was looking to get into hummus. I know I’ve had it before and I’ve always liked it, but I never really kept up with it. We casually hung out, but I wanted to make us a little more BFFy. Luckily, I found Super Hummus.

I like to think that if Superman or The Hulk or Wolverine had a hankerin’ for hummus, they would eat Super Hummus. Therefore, since I’m part super, I had to buy Super Hummus.

Now that I AM a regular hummuser, I decided to go off the vegetable path and try it with an apple. Bear with me, it gets a little complicated here. It tasted good…after the first few slices. See, the apple had to dry a little before it was good. It started too juicy and that didn’t work well with the hummus.

As you may or may not know, I’ve been experimenting with peanut butter and honey. I love the combination of the two. I also love cinnamon. The word and the spice. One of my favorite things to say is “cinnamon in it.”

Go ahead. Say it really fast. Fun, isn’t it! I can’t stop saying it! Cinnamoninit!

Now I CAN say it all the time! My mom suggested some honey AND cinnamon AND peanut butter on toast. Four of my favorite things combined! My mom is a genius. It is amazing!

And now, if I ever have company that wants a snack, I will make this for them. Wanna know why? I’ll show you…

You/Guest: “This is great! How did you get toast to taste so fun?”

Me: “It has cinnamon in it!”

You/Guest: “CINNAMONINIT!”

As a bonus, I just found out that “Toast To Taste” is also really fun to say.

I’m off to toast to taste cinnamon in it.

Enjoy Everything.

-lopez