drink and drone

Casa Madrona is a fancy hotel in California.

Fancy can’t even describe the place. It’s beyond gorgeous. And SO EXPENSIVE.

The Alexandrite Suite costs $10,000. FOR ONE NIGHT. Would you like to spend two nights there? Because if you can afford that, I would like you to bring me!

They decided that they needed a gimmick to get people to stay there, (I have a gimmick idea, MAKE IT CHEAPER.) so they started a drone delivery service.

If you stay in the Alexandrite Suite, you can have a drone deliver champagne to your room. You don’t even have to tip it! Just get your bottles and send it away!

Are you like me and don’t care about drone champagne? They understand that. So they will also deliver cookies! Drone cookies! Drookies!

Imagine sitting out on a beautiful deck all day while robots just keep delivering cookies and snacks to you. I would feel like an evil mastermind in a movie!

Me: “Drones! Bring me more cookies!”

Drones: “Yes master.” (My evil drones talk.)

Me: “And 3.8 bags of Swedish Fish!”

Drones: “Yes master.”

Me: “And this time don’t go to Sweden and get fish from the water! I want the red chewy ones! And make sure every chewy fish looks like a fish! I don’t want any mooshed-up ones”

It’s stressful being an evil mastermind. You have to be so specific with robots. But they’re easier to replace than human minions. Those were messy days.

I’m off to plot my world domination…after I raise $10,000. Do they have an evil kickstarter?

Enjoy Everything.

-lopez

drone flocks

A town in Colorado is selling hunting licenses for drones. Because I guess there are a lot of drones in Colorado?

I’m actually not sure about drone migrations. I’m not really an expert. I’m guessing that if you can catch a wild drone, you might be able to put an electronic tag on it so we can follow it around.

Or, since it’s already electronic, do we need to put an unelectronic tag on it? I’ll have to look into that.

I DO know for a fact that drones tend to go to the Middle East in winter. I think it has something to do with the warmer climate, but we don’t really know. It’s a mystery…like the migration of monarch butterflies and retirees.

But in Colorado, due to the lack of natural drone predators, there are far too many drones in the air. It’s causing all sorts of electronic interference and a slight buzzing sound for people with hearing aids.

So, they need to control the population by making it legal to hunt them during the warmer months. And any month Colorado is at war with the United States. More likely the warmer months.

Drones don’t provide much for meat, but their insides are good for fixing boom boxes and vacuum cleaners.

Mounting them on your wall is one way to impress your friends. And yes, size does matter. The smaller the drone, the more impressed people are. Because they know it took REAL skill to hit something that small.

I mean, seriously, hitting something large that isn’t moving is pretty easy. But those tiny drones are quick! You hit that, and you’re the sharpest shooter in the woodland!

If you have a drone problem in your state, you should write to your FAA representative about drone hunting.

But be very careful, evolution has given some drones very good protection. Like missiles. But like bees, once the missiles have been used, they don’t grow a new one.

Still, getting shot with a missile stings slightly worse than a bee.

I’m off to mount a drone.

Enjoy Everything.

-lopez