drone flocks

A town in Colorado is selling hunting licenses for drones. Because I guess there are a lot of drones in Colorado?

I’m actually not sure about drone migrations. I’m not really an expert. I’m guessing that if you can catch a wild drone, you might be able to put an electronic tag on it so we can follow it around.

Or, since it’s already electronic, do we need to put an unelectronic tag on it? I’ll have to look into that.

I DO know for a fact that drones tend to go to the Middle East in winter. I think it has something to do with the warmer climate, but we don’t really know. It’s a mystery…like the migration of monarch butterflies and retirees.

But in Colorado, due to the lack of natural drone predators, there are far too many drones in the air. It’s causing all sorts of electronic interference and a slight buzzing sound for people with hearing aids.

So, they need to control the population by making it legal to hunt them during the warmer months. And any month Colorado is at war with the United States. More likely the warmer months.

Drones don’t provide much for meat, but their insides are good for fixing boom boxes and vacuum cleaners.

Mounting them on your wall is one way to impress your friends. And yes, size does matter. The smaller the drone, the more impressed people are. Because they know it took REAL skill to hit something that small.

I mean, seriously, hitting something large that isn’t moving is pretty easy. But those tiny drones are quick! You hit that, and you’re the sharpest shooter in the woodland!

If you have a drone problem in your state, you should write to your FAA representative about drone hunting.

But be very careful, evolution has given some drones very good protection. Like missiles. But like bees, once the missiles have been used, they don’t grow a new one.

Still, getting shot with a missile stings slightly worse than a bee.

I’m off to mount a drone.

Enjoy Everything.

-lopez

tap that tree and leave

Maine has had an unusually large amount of sap stealing this year. Nobody knows why. Maybe because maple syrup sells for 13 TIMES THE PRICE OF GASOLINE!

I know! Did not know that until I read about the Maine problem. We complain about the price of gas all the time, but who cares?! Why are people still drilling for oil? There’s no money in that! The money is in the maple!

Also, little known fact, Vermont is the biggest maple syrup producer in these United States. Maine and New York are tied for second place.

What’s the deal here? What are people doing with this sap they’re stealing? Is there a black market for maple syrup? Is this like the honey laundering I read about last week? Are there people selling maple syrup in back alleys somewhere? To shady bees looking to spike their honey?

I can imagine that would be true. Because, again, 13 TIMES THE PRICE OF GASOLINE.

I wish I had a car that ran on maple syrup. Not because I want to spend that kind of money to fill it up. But I bet everything would smell like sugar. And I could start my car and sit in front of my tail pipe with pancakes every morning and not faint. Which is what happens now.

Editor’s Note: Do not sit in front of a tail pipe while the car is running. That is dangerous. And not maple syrupy at all.

Writer’s Note: I’m actually the editor of my own writing, so shouldn’t I listen to my own advice?

Editor’s Note: Yes.

Who started eating maple syrup, anyway? Did somebody see goo coming out of a tree and think, “Let me taste that!”

Because, really, that would be the LAST thought on my mind. Though, there’s not much on my mind. Maybe I spend too much time in front of the tail pipe.

I’m off to tap a tree. I hope it’s a maple.

Enjoy Everything.

-lopez