a study in pink planets

There is a pink planet! YES! The planet is totally pink!

Finally! A world that will match all of my outfits!

Not only is it pink, it’s GLOWING PINK! Because it’s still hot from its formation. So, yes, it is literally a hot pink planet.

I can’t describe how excited this makes me. But I will try. Think of the most exciting thing ever. Then add frosting and sprinkles. Then another layer of frosting. Then cookies. A third layer of frosting and more sprinkles. THAT is how excited I am. (Maybe some gummy worms on top, too!)

It’s actually a pretty incredible find. The planet is about as big a Jupiter, four times as massive, and about nine times farther away from its central star (like our sun) than our Jupiter is from ours!

This is literally blowing the minds of pink planet researchers (also known as “NASA”) because it seems impossible!

And yet, having a hot pink planet with candy clouds also seemed impossible. Until now!

I’m going to climb into my glitter-ship and fly over to Pinkopia. (That’s what I named it.) I have a glitter-ship because I also fight evil space creatures all the time. It’s a thing I do.

I’ll probably live in Pinkopolis because the sugar-pink beaches are nice there. And when it snows pink in the winter, the mountains look beautiful.

I will also have a pet pegasus, also pink, because cars are lame…when you own a pegasus.

And if any evil monsters try to attack my planet, I will call upon the power of Pinkskull and save the day.

Because, you know, it’s a thing I do.

I’m off to glow pink.

Enjoy Everything.

-lopez

unicorn customs

Can a unicorn get through customs? Yes. As long as the unicorn has magically disguised itself as a little girl!

There’s a girl from South Wales who was able to get through security in Turkey with a fake passport. A passport FOR A UNICORN.

She got this fake passport for her stuffed unicorn as part of her “Design A Bear” toy. I guess they want to make sure your stuffed animal can travel the world with you.

During the rush through Turkey customs, they gave the unicorn’s passport to the person working there instead of little Emily’s passport! And they got through!

I’m not sure what this says about security in Turkey, but I do know what it says about my new passport picture.

It’s going to be a picture of a unicorn! My name will be Sprinkle Sparkle and I will travel the world on magic, love, and United Airlines!

If anybody asks why, in my current shape, I don’t look like the picture, I will tell them that I’m in secret “human form” because there are many evil wallaby spies trying to get all my unicorn secrets from me.

Like our secret moon base. And where we store all our candy.

I’d be, like, the James Bond of unicorns. Starring in GoldenHorn. Or Unicorns are Forever. Or License to Frolic.

I’d also work for the Queen of England.

The only difference is that I would order my frosting stirred, not shaken. Because…well…can you even shake frosting? Wait…can I get a frosting shake?!

That sounds soooooo gooooood!

I’m off to shake and stir and frosting.

Enjoy Everything.

-lopez